<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">

<html>

<!-- css_eqv /txt/cj_code.txt -->

<?php

$user_agent = "";

if(isset($_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT']))
$user_agent = $_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'];

if(substr($user_agent,0,5) == "Emacs" || substr($user_agent,0,5) == "Links" || substr($user_agent,0,4) == "Lynx" || substr($user_agent,0,9) == "URL/Emacs")
header("location: http://insanelywittystupidity.com/html/css_eqv.html?../oracle/oracle.html");

?>

<!-- css_eqv end -->

<?php

function filt(n_win, n_docel, n_body)
{
var n_result = n_win ? n_win : 0;

if(n_docel && (!n_result || (n_result > n_docel)))
n_result = n_docel;

return n_body && (!n_result || (n_result > n_body)) ? n_body : n_result;
}

function get_cki($cki_name)
{
$elm=1;
$i=0;
$j=0;
$cki="";
$cki_ret="";
$ind="";
$str="";
$cki_arr = split(';', $GLOBALS['cki']);

while(true)
{
$ind = strval($elm);

$str = $cki_name;
$str .= "_";
$str .= $ind;

if(strrpos($GLOBALS['cki'], $str) >= 0)
$elm = $elm+1;
else
break;
}

for($i=0; $i<sizeof($cki_arr); $i++) // *js_array cki_arr;*
{
$cki = $cki_arr[$i];

while (substr($cki, 0, 1)==' ')
$cki = js_substring($cki, 1);

for($j=0; $j<$elm; $j++)
{
$ind = strval($j);

$str = $cki_name;
$str .= "_";
$str .= $ind;
$str .= "=";

if(strrpos($cki, $str) == 0)
$cki_ret .= substr($cki, strlen($str), (strlen($cki) - strlen($str)));
}
}

return $cki_ret;
}

function hpo_str($str)
{
$i = 0;
$h_pos = "";

for($i=0; $i<strlen($str); $i++)
{
if(substr($str, $i,4) == "hpo*")
$h_pos = substr($str, $i+4, strlen($str) - ($i+4));
}

for($i=0; $i<strlen($h_pos); $i++)
{
if(substr($h_pos, $i,1) == "@")
$h_pos = substr($h_pos, 0,$i);
}

return $h_pos;
}

function h_scr_loc()
{
return filt(
window.pageXOffset ? window.pageXOffset : 0,
document.documentElement ? document.documentElement.scrollLeft : 0,
document.body ? document.body.scrollLeft : 0);
}

function load_page($msg, $h_pos, $v_pos)
{
$str = "";

$str .= "msg*";
$str .= $msg;
$str .= "@";
$str .= "hpo*";
$str .= $h_pos;
$str .= "@";
$str .= "vpo*";
$str .= $v_pos;
$str .= "@";

set_cki("oracle_cki", $str, 30);
$var = $var;
//location.replace("/oracle/oracle.html");
}

function msg_str($str)
{
$i = 0;
$msg = "";

for($i=0; $i<strlen($str); $i++)
{
if(substr($str, $i,4) == "msg*")
$msg = substr($str, $i+4, strlen($str) - ($i+4));
}

for($i=0; $i<strlen($msg); $i++)
{
if(substr($msg, $i,1) == "@")
$msg = substr($msg, 0,$i);
}

return $msg;
}

/*function rand($min, $max)
{
return floor(Math.random() * ($max - $min + 1)) + $min;
}*/

function set_cki($cki_name, $cki_val, $exp_days)
{
$i = 0;
$str_l = 0;

$doc_cki_str = "";
$ind = "";
$temp = "";

$var = $var;
//$date = new Date();
$date = js_set_time(js_get_time( ($exp_days * 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000)));
$exp_date = "expires=" + js_to_utc_str($date);

$str_l = strlen($cki_val);

for($i=0; $i<(floor($str_l/4000)+1); $i++)
{
$ind = strval($i);

if(($str_l - ($i*4000)) > 0)
$temp = substr($cki_val, ($i*4000), 4000);
else
$temp = substr($cki_val, ($i*4000), ($str_l - ($i*4000)));

$doc_cki_str = $cki_name;
$doc_cki_str .= "_";
$doc_cki_str .= $ind;
$doc_cki_str .= "=";
$doc_cki_str .= $temp;
$doc_cki_str .= "; ";
$doc_cki_str .= $exp_date;

doc_cookie( $doc_cki_str);
}
}

function sho_for($fortune, $h_pos, $v_pos)
{
$msg = "";

if($fortune == 1)
$msg = "Years from now, you'll run for president. You'll fill citizens with hope and promise them liberty and happiness. You will acquire the position by a landslide. You'll become prosperous performing your duties-- like an absolute ruler. No one will question your authority or your prestige. You'll speak it, and so shall it be. But, beware. A rival will walk among you. You'll recognize the rival. Out of the corner of your eye, the rival will appear to be a grey wolf with glowing, green eyes. Keep your senses sharp. Seek out the grey haired, green eyed wolf. Otherwise, an icy, sinister shadow shall blanket your empire in darkness. And, the citizens you seek to rule will destroy you in a fit of rage.";
else if($fortune == 2)
$msg = "Love will find you. But, it will pace itself. And, it won't jump out and greet you with open arms. Seek it out. Love will look up from below, blink slowly, and hide a smile.";
else if($fortune == 3)
$msg = "You know you were wrong. Just admit it! You don't have to admit it to others. But, at least admit it to yourself. Only then can you learn right from wrong. And, learning right from wrong is the key to happiness.";
else if($fortune == 4)
$msg = "The hand of God has touched you. It has warmed your heart. Eternal joy is yours to keep. But, remain alert. There are treacheries about. Treacherous hearts untouched by God's hand threaten to peel joy from your lifeless fingers, soak it with pitch, and attach it to red hot coals in caverns below your feet. May you keep your wits about you. May your rest be swift and efficient. And, may dark forces be boiled away by your warm, kind spirit.";
else
$msg = "Hope will find you. There is no reason to seek it out. Let your intuition guide you towards prosperity. Work hard when you must. Rest when you find time. Don't forget to feed the most important stomach of all: your senses.";

load_page($msg, $h_pos, $v_pos);
}

function sho_wis($wisdom, $h_pos, $v_pos)
{
$msg = "";

if($wisdom == 1)
$msg = "Something went wrong. I got some type of response. Unfortunately... it wasn't the type of response I was expecting!!!";
else if($wisdom == 2)
$msg = "That seems to be the case.";
else if($wisdom == 3)
$msg = "It could be. But, maybe not. Hmm...";
else if($wisdom == 4)
$msg = "I'm afraid you're going to have to repeat the question and try again. I must be getting old.";
else if($wisdom == 5)
$msg = "Definitely no.";
else if($wisdom == 6)
$msg = "My advice is for you to think it through. Decide the answer for yourself. If you still can't come up with an answer, then ask again.";
else if($wisdom == 7)
$msg = "Indeed.";
else if($wisdom == 8)
$msg = "I'm seeing some sort of an answer. But, it's not clear. Try again in a moment.";
else
$msg = "For now, the answer is no. But, that may change.";

load_page($msg, $h_pos, $v_pos);
}

function vpo_str($str)
{
$i = 0;
$v_pos = "";

for($i=0; $i<strlen($str); $i++)
{
if(substr($str, $i,4) == "vpo*")
$v_pos = substr($str, $i+4, strlen($str) - ($i+4));
}

for($i=0; $i<strlen($v_pos); $i++)
{
if(substr($v_pos, $i,1) == "@")
$v_pos = substr($v_pos, 0,$i);
}

return $v_pos;
}

function v_scr_loc()
{
return filt(
window.pageYOffset ? window.pageYOffset : 0,
document.documentElement ? document.documentElement.scrollTop : 0,
document.body ? document.body.scrollTop : 0);
}

?>

<head>
<title>Insanely Witty Stupidity - The Oracle</title>

<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width"/>

<meta name="description" content="Insanely Witty Stupidity - The Oracle" />
<meta name="robots" content="index,follow" />
<meta http-equiv="imagetoolbar" content="no" />
<meta name="author" content="Michael Atkins" />
<meta http-equiv="Content-type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" />

</head>
<body link="#0099ff" vlink="#9999ff" alink="#cc3300" bgcolor="#000000">

<font face="Courier, Droid Sans Mono" size="4" color="#ffffff">

<!-- css_eqv /txt/iws_links.txt -->

<table align="center">
<tr>
<td>

<table style="float: left;">
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/" title="Main">
<img src="/Iconz/iws_sml.png" alt="Main"/></a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/">
Main</a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

<table style="float: left;">
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Artwork.html" title="Artwork">
<img src="/Iconz/Artwork_64.png" alt="Artwork"/></a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Artwork.html">
Artwork</a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

<table style="float: left;">
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Books.html" title="Books">
<img src="/Iconz/Books_64.png" alt="Books"/></a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Books.html">
Books</a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

<table style="float: left;">
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Licenses.html" title="Licenses">
<img src="/Iconz/Licenses_64.png" alt="Licenses"/></a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Licenses.html">
Licenses</a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

<table style="float: left;">
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Shorts.html" title="Shorts">
<img src="/Iconz/Shorts_64.png" alt="Shorts"/></a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Shorts.html">
Shorts</a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

<table style="float: left;">
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Software.html" title="Software">
<img src="/Iconz/Software_64.png" alt="Software"/></a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Software.html">
Software</a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

<table style="float: left;">
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Source.html" title="Source">
<img src="/Iconz/Source_64.png" alt="Source"/></a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="/html/Source.html">
Source</a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

</td>
</tr>
</table>

<!-- css_eqv end -->

</font>

<font face="Courier, Droid Sans Mono" size="4" color="#fffff4">

<!-- css_eqv /txt/the_oracle.txt -->

<center>
<img src="/Iconz/IWSmiley.png" alt="Insanely Witty Stupidity" style="width: 100%; max-width: 200px;"/>
<h2>
The Oracle
</h2>
</center>

<!-- css_eqv end -->

<table width="100%">
<tr>

<td width="10%">
</td>

<td width="80%">

<p>

<noscript>

<meta http-equiv="refresh" content="0; url=http://insanelywittystupidity.com/oracle/oracle_0.2.html" /><br>
<br>

You have javascript disabled-- you dick!! A new version of The Oracle is available that contains no javascript code. You can find it <a href="/oracle/oracle_0.2.html">here</a>. Or, you could just browse the web like a normal person. ;)<br><br>

</noscript>

I am the Oracle of Insanely Witty Stupidity. I am eternal and wise. <br>
<br>
For insight, ask a yes/no question out loud. Then, click the Wisdom link for an answer. If you can't arrange your inquiry into a yes/no question, the Wisdom link won't work. You'll receive a response to some other inquiry! So, be sure you're asking a yes/no question. When you're finished, you can click the Fortune link to view your fortune. But, be warned. Knowledge about your own fate can have great consequences. Use the information I share wisely. It is for you and you alone.<br>
<br>

<?php

$msg = "";
$old_cki = get_cki("oracle_cki");
$fortune = rand(1, 5);
$wisdom = rand(1, 9);

echo "<center>";
?><form action='<?php sho_wis(wisdom, h_scr_loc(), v_scr_loc()) ?>' method="post"> <?php echo "<input type=\"submit\" value=\"Wisdom\">";
echo "&nbsp;";
echo "</form>";

?><form action='<?php sho_for(fortune, h_scr_loc(), v_scr_loc()) ?>' method="post"> <?php echo "<input type=\"submit\" value=\"Fortune\">";
echo "<br>";
echo "</center>";
echo "Response: ";

if($old_cki != "")
$msg = msg_str($old_cki);

if($msg != "")
echo $msg;

echo "</form>";

?>

<br><br>

<center>
<a href="/oracle/oracle_portal.html">Back</a>

<?php

$h_pos = "";
$old_cki = get_cki("oracle_cki");
$v_pos = "";

if($old_cki != "")
{
$h_pos = hpo_str($old_cki);
$v_pos = vpo_str($old_cki);

window.scrollTo($h_pos, $v_pos);
}

?>

<p>
_______________________<wbr>_______________________
<p>

Follow me on:
<p>

<!-- css_eqv /txt/follow_links.txt -->

<table align="center">
<tr>
<td>

<table style="float: left;">
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/them11" title="Facebook">
<img src="/Iconz/facebook_64.png" alt="Facebook" /></a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

<table style="float: left;">
<tr>
<td>
<center>
<a href="http://twitter.com/them11001" title="Twitter">
<img src="/Iconz/twitter_64.png" alt="Twitter" /></a>
</center>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

</td>
</tr>
</table>

<!-- css_eqv end -->

</center>

</td>

<td width="10%">
</td>

</tr>
</table>

</font>
</body>
</html>