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An "Intellectual" Discussion About Dead Kennedys

10-24-2017

So, I woke up this morning with Anti-Flag "Die for the Government" stuck in my head. I'm not sure why-- I haven't listened to music that stupid since I was in my early twenties?? Anyway, I decided to write an article about how stupid the lyrics are (because, well-- they are incredibly stupid). So, I found the lyrics online. But, man-- the lyrics to "Die for the Government" are so stupid, I can't justify wasting time writing about them. I can only urge people to read the lyrics for themselves. The stupidity is undeniable. Don't listen to punk rock!! Oh, my God!

So, I decided to rag on Dead Kennedys instead. The only Dead Kennedys song I could think of on the spot was "Trust Your Mechanic." I have to admit, though-- Dead Kennedys' lyrics are pretty stupid too. It's hard to read biased, communist, groupthink lyrics like DK's and keep a straight face. Even people with a room temperature IQ are capable of thinking for themselves better than Jello Biafra gives them credit for. The lyrics for "Trust Your Mechanic" are printed below. I've inserted my "corrections" where necessary:

Dead Kennedys - Trust Your Mechanic

TV invents a disease
You think you have (Such as?...)
So you buy our drugs
And soon you depend on them (This always happens??)
Pain is in your mind
Got you coming back for more (Nah, they won't refill my prescription. :( )
Again and again and again and again
Gonna rip you off
Rip you off

Doctor says you need surgery now
Feeling good 'til the side effects
Fuck up something else (Because-- this happens??)
You're ensnared by the medicine man
Paying up the ass
Again and again (No, you're not. wtf?)
Gonna rip you off

Trust your mechanic to mend your car
Bring it in to his garage
He tightens and loosens a few spare parts (Except, the initial problem is fixed??)
One thing's fixed, another falls apart (So, it's under warranty??)
And the rich eat you

A magazine says your face don't look quite right
Unless you wear our brand new wonder creme tonight (And, people are incapable of making up their own minds. ;) )
Never look right again
Unless you grease your skin
Again and again and again and again (Nope. This doesn't happen.)
Gonna rip you off

Told you're depressed
So of course you see the psychiatrist (Actually, depressed people rarely seek treatment.)
Right when you hit your neuroses' roots
He confuses you (Confusing patients is not the job of a psychiatrist. Talk therapy and medication-- sure.)
He fucks your head up worse
Gotcha feeling helpless
You're coming back for more
Again and again (Nope. Psychiatrists are usually trying to get people out the door so they can bring in new patients.)
Gonna rip you off
Rip you off

Trust your mechanic
To make you well (Sure, if they have a good reputation.)
You're seeing an awful lot of him now
The quicker he makes your life fall apart
The more money you put in his pockets (And, you can't take your business elsewhere.)

Trust your mechanic
To plug your holes (If the mechanic is trustworthy.)
Trust him to make more
Somewhere else (Oh-- we wouldn't want that.)
Trust your mechanic
He'll always come through
And rip you off (Probably not. People will stop bringing the mechanic business.)

And, I figured I'd share the song itself in case you are not privy:


A final note: You can pay for a product designed to help people. Or, you can pay to listen to a psychotic (possibly schizophrenic??) socialist shouting lies while phony "musicians" bang on guitars and drums with little understanding of how to play them. Who's *really* ripping you off?? :D

Lyrics available courtesy of Genius Lyrics: http://genius.com/Dead-kennedys-trust-your-mechanic-lyrics

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html revised 10-24-2017 by Michael Atkins.

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